unbreak my heart
by Paige Cram
Published: June 25, 2008
There are few men in my life who have never disappointed me. In fact, I can only think of three: my dad, Ben & Jerry. So I can’t say I was surprised when Barack Obama announced his decision last week to turn down public financing for his presidential campaign.
I, like many others of my generation, fell truly, madly and deeply in love with the senator from Illinois. He knew what I wanted to hear, and he made me feel an optimism about the future which I haven’t felt in a long time. Everything he said seemed to mirror my own thoughts, and the way people flocked to him was nothing short of awe-inspiring.
But like all infatuations, it was doomed by the inevitable reality that we all must come to face. Obama is, after all, only human. And humans, in the end, will always let you down. It’s a lesson I’ve learned many times in my personal relationships. But what can I say? I thought this time it was different.
I wrote, a couple of months ago when the senator made his first comments indicating that he was back-pedaling on his promise to accept public financing, about my fear of this very event taking place. I wrote that it would perhaps be the beginning of a series of let-downs; that it would prove him to be just the kind of politician of which we already have too many; that it would open him up to attacks for hypocrisy; that it would damage his sleek non-stick coating which has up until now kept Americans fixated.
And now here we are. What’s worse is that, in explaining his actions, he committed the ultimate political sin: instead of owning up to his change of heart, he fed us a completely transparent justification, apparently assuming that his supporters are dumb enough to believe it. In the video he sent out, he said, “the system is broken.”
Well, that may be true. But let’s call a spade a spade. If Barack Obama accepts public financing, it will severely limit his spending ability. And who can blame him? With money pouring in from all over the country, his amazing fund-raising advantage over John McCain is no secret.
So now we’re headed for one of the most expensive and unevenly matched campaigns in recent American history.
Don’t get me wrong; I want to win in November as much as every other Democrat. And having a monetary advantage will certainly make that easier. But at what cost? Don’t we lose a little of our moral high ground when the election, by financial standards at least, isn’t even fair? Do we really want to tarnish such a historical moment in American politics by opening ourselves up to accusations of buying the election? More importantly, don’t we believe we could win this thing no matter what? Even without the monetary upper hand? Because if Obama doesn’t believe in himself and the power of his numerous supporters, then how can he ask us to?
All of this has weighed heavily on me since last week. I spent a few nights sleeping in my “Obama ‘08″ shirt and crying into my pillow. I stopped eating, only to binge on candy and ice cream the next day. I watched Saturday Night Live skits starring Barack look-a-likes and pretended it was him. I checked my Inbox 17 times an hour to see if maybe, just maybe, he would change is mind. And at the end of all of it, I came to a conclusion:
I’m not ready to give up on him just yet.
I’m feeling a little betrayed at the moment, but like all great loves, he deserves a second chance. A chance to regain my trust; a chance for him to recover a little of that shimmer and make me feel giddy again.
Though it can never be exactly the same once that first wound has been inflicted, for we can never again pretend that he has no faults, perhaps we can develop a more mature, more realistic relationship. One that acknowledges the faults in all parties, but accepts them, and ultimately, loves them anyway. The honeymoon phase may have ended with this, our first real fight, but now the real work can begin.
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(11)
June 26th, 2008 at 8:50 am
Was he supposed to stick around and wait for McCain to secure another bank loan with public financing money as collateral? Or continue to use a private corporate jet for free travel?
I respected Obama for trying to meet McCain on this, but I think all bets were off the moment Ol’ Johhny broke the campaign finance laws he so heavily touted for the past decade.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:10 am
I, too, am a bit disappointed with some of Obama’s about-faces in the last week (this one, death penalty, telecom immunity), but they also show he can play the political game. A few months ago, people complained he was too naive, too idealistic to win in the general election, while HRC would flip and flop her way to victory depending on which way the wind blew. I agree; principles are principles, even when they’re not convienent (if they weren’t principles, they’d be called conviences). However, he wouldn’t be so successful a politican if he was as principled as we’d like. I’m not saying it’s okay; I’m saying it’s to be expected.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Get use to it Lefties. It’s just the beginning.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Go McCain!
June 26th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Paige, great article.
I was tossing around writing an article titled “Broken Promises” criticizing Obama about this subject, but honestly my heart wasn’t in it. I agree with Sandra: “I’m not saying it’s okay; I’m saying it’s to be expected.” It does show he can play the political game…
Plus, we all know that if the Clintons were in that position, they would have done what Barack did in a heartbeat; they wouldn’t of given a ****. So how can I condemn Obama for doing it?
June 26th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
In my defense, I ony say, “Go McCain!” because I am forced to choose between him and Obama.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Don’t worry about it being unevenly matched. Thanks to the McCain-Feingold bill, McCain will have plenty of support from the unlimited power of the 527.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Great article Paige! Although I take issue with a comment I’ve been hearing quite often lately, “don’t we believe we could win this thing no matter what?” I, like many others, fell in love with Obama because he is inspiring. His ability to mobilize people is what will win this election. Thinking that Obama can beat any Republican, no matter what, lulls us into a false sense of security. So yes, we can win this thing (hell, it probably won’t even be close), but not without trying. And unfortunately that’s going to include some political game playing.
June 27th, 2008 at 11:01 am
I can’t wait until March 2009, maybe June. When we all wake up and realize that even under Obama, nothing’s changed. Then, maybe, being inspired without a substantive reason why, will go out of fashion.
June 27th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Paige, I just wanted to say, I understand your pain. Look on the bright side: at least you can say that you are still in love with your candidate, while I, on the other side of the aisle, have a hard time saying that I was ever in live with my candidate.
What troubles me about this is not the fact that Obama changed his position (which, IMHO, is “good” politics), but the way that he did (i.e. “bad” politics). He would have been an idiot to limit himself by accepting public money (which, for purposes of full disclosure, I oppose on general principle anyway), and we can’t have idiots running the White House. Yet to explain away his very understandable, very political maneuver by wrapping himself in the sanctimonious banner “rejecting the broken system” strikes me as dishonest, patronizing, and completely in line with the messianic image he has built up for himself, where every move (be it the Jay-Z shoulder brush or his stance on campaign finance) is billed as some kind of ground-breaking attack on the entire political structure. Even his most fanatical supporters are having trouble buying this one. In the long-term, I think that’s great, as this whole phenomenon of “hero-worship” in modern politics, be it for Barack Obama or Ronald Reagan (PBUH), is grossly destructive to the political health of our Republic. But for the time-being, Obama just looks like a tool.
I truly hope someone stands up at his next rally and asks, “DO YOU THINK WE’RE STUPID!!!”