safety fourth
by Ian Schuldt
Published: June 17, 2008
In “Arrested Development,” one of my favorite TV shows of all time, there is a running joke where the dad in the family teaches his children J. Walter Weatherman lessons. This is where he tricks his children into believing that a man had his arm ripped off because he did something wrong. In one of my favorites, George Senior conjures up a scenario where he accidentally runs over a mans arm because the kids didn’t leave a note about where they were going. Then, J. Walter Weatherman, an already one-armed man, stands in front of the children with fake blood pouring out of his shoulder and tells the kids, “… and that’s why you always leave a note!”
It’s hilarious because the very idea that a father would traumatize his children like this just to teach them a simple life lesson, like “always leave a note,” is ridiculous and absurd. You’d have to be one of the most despicable, psychotic people in the world to actually think this was good for your kids.
Apparently, some of the most despicable, psychotic people in the world work at El Camino High School in Oceanside, CA. Recently, the local police department joined with teachers in a scared-straight exercise where they told the children that a number of their classmates and closest friends were killed in a drunk-driving accident, let them cry, mourn and feel sick to their stomachs for about an hour or so, and then said, “Just kidding!” as if everyone was just going to have a big laugh about it.
We’ve now come to the point where we believe it’s worth traumatizing our children in the hopes that it might prevent them from going through something traumatizing. I’ve been in a high school classroom where a teacher has read a statement like this that was true. I can tell you first-hand that the ensuing madness is one of the worst things you could ever go through.
The teachers and police department defended their actions by saying if it saves even one, life it was worth it. The reality is, though, that drinking and driving is like smoking; everyone knows it’s dangerous, but there’s always going to be a segment of the population that does it anyway. They believe doing it a little here and there isn’t going to hurt you. Which it turns out is more true than most would like to admit.
I remember back in high school we had a group of hardcore Christian college students come put on an anti-drinking skit for our high school. It was so blatantly obvious that these idiots had no idea what they were talking about that a bunch of us actually got angry and started yelling at them. That night there were a number of students that actually went out and got drunk just to spite them.
Drinking and driving is dangerous. I’ll debate just how dangerous it is at another time. The point here is that we’ve all heard the anti-drunk-driving propaganda just like we’ve all heard the anti-smoking propaganda. Yet there is still a segment of the population that does it. If you can’t sit down and tell someone the truth that drinking and driving is dangerous and have them listen to you, then lying to them in order to scare them into believing you doesn’t do any good either. All it does is make them angry at the person who lied and breeds distrust towards those who are supposed to be their roll models. This all boils down to another simple lesson, one that most of us were taught before we even went to kindergarten, but one which even adults still haven’t learned.
Lying doesn’t solve problems, it creates them.
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June 17th, 2008 at 10:51 am
While I completely agree with the general point and purpose of your argument, I have to say that people getting “angry and yelling” and getting drunk to “spite them” is hardly a good example of why short-sided attempts at creating change are worthless. Those college students could have been right on with their skit, all coming from backgrounds where they were in the midst of drunk driving and its consequences, and you’d still have people “getting drunk to spite them.” They’re getting drunk because they’re immature, not because those trying to influence them are out of touch.
June 17th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
I was sick when I read about what those psychos did in California - its unforgivable. I hope every teacher and policeman involved is fired.
Polited - anti drunk driving skits and truth.com type commercials and all that crap are condescending and do nothing to stop any drunk driving. In fact, I agree with Ian… it encourages it. Unless we respect kids enough to give them the real facts about drinking, smoking, etc (including the fact that drinking isn’t always bad, one cigarette won’t kill you, etc), high school kids won’t even listen to the message, much less think about the consequences.
And there were kids at my high school too who would go drink just to spite the latest motivational speaker. I mean, we woulda probably drank anyways, but that made it seem that much more bad… and, therefore, fun.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Any column mentioning “Arrested Development” deserves fireworks and neon lights above it. Best TV show. EVER. … I think the school district could have been more effective and appropriate by bringing in family and friends of loved ones who had died. Though, I think the kids at this school will think twice this prom season before drinking and driving.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:45 am
Correction: The best TV show ever was Sanford and Son. Followed by The Little Rascals, The Three Stooges, Different Strokes, The Dukes of Hazard and One Day At A Time.
Also, youth already think they’re smarter than adults, which explains why they so often ignore even very good advice. All the stunt did was confirm to a bunch of arrogant, ungrateful little boppers that they were right all along.
June 18th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Good point Cheeze man.
The kids that “spite” the efforts of discouraging them from doing what they think is cool will most likely do it regardless of whether what they saw was condescending or not.
Ha… and that’s true, Sandra. While I wouldn’t ever condone doing this again, it most likely worked.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
I heard they might be making an “Arrested Development” movie… anyone know if that is true? I sure hope it is… that would make my life.
June 18th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
It is true. And it should make your life.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Back on topic though, I gotta say this “If it saves one life, it’s worth it” defense is crap. It’s what people say when they don’t want to do things the right way. Bush argues warrentless wire taps could save lives, so it’s worth it. I’m sure the police searching houses without warrants could theoretically save lives because they could stumble upon a criminal. Taking away all American’s guns could potentially save a life. However, all these things are not right. Neither is shocking high school students into thinking their friends, and maybe even relatives, are dead because it could hypothetically save a life.