it’s all over
by Max Clark
Published: May 19, 2008
Recently, in an unexpected strike during the relative calm following the West Virginia primary, the Clinton camp has struck the final blow in this campaign: relevancy has now officially been killed. New York Times, hang your sections B through G, the only news of the day is plain and simple: Hillary Clinton can outdrink John McCain.
In new information released by the campaign and verified by independent news agencies, on a 2004 Tallin congressional visit Senator McCain went toe-to-toe against Senator Clinton in a Vodka showdown and came out behind. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the campaign is finally over, there is finally nothing left to discuss.
Not to downplay the importance of this breaking story. It’s said that Ronald Reagan defeated the USSR in a similar manner; somewhere around the eighth round Gorbachev could no longer keep his Yeltsin down. But let’s not get carried away and start thinking it matters or anything.
This primary process, though a great experiment in representative democracy, has overstayed its welcome. The Democrats have had 21 debates already - including six which were mano a womano (though, for two of those, John Edwards had a really good seat to watch from) - their advertisement expenditures have exceeded the GDP of most of the third world and they haven’t had a Sunday morning to themselves this year.
The problem boils down to this: a candidate can convey their entire platform, which encompasses all their goals they will strive to reach while in office and the manner by which they will approach them, in about three hours of well-focused oratory. After that, one simply has to start winging it.
Honestly, do any of you realize what it’s like to say “We’re going to have Change!” again and again and again, every day for 10 months straight? The monotony of it all is mind-numbing. What can we expect after so many news cycles? Issues? I’m sorry but the issues have died a long time ago.
So, why not just admit it, replay some of the February debates and make-believe that “leader of the free world” is a position we need to take seriously. I’ll be waiting at the convention.
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