3 predictions
by Cynthia Flores
Published: May 7, 2008
The results are in: Barack won North Carolina by 14 points despite Clinton’s heavy campaigning and even heavier spending. In Indiana, Clinton eaked out a 2-point victory. Rumor has it that Clinton is self-financing her campaign, that superdelegates are about to coalesce around Obama and that party leaders will begin asking Hillary to step aside. So what does all this mean?
Obama is about to blow his lead.
Come on, we’ve been here three times before. Hillary’s against the ropes, out of money, pressured to step aside and just when you thought that Obama was going to finish her off - he doesn’t.
This time I’m going to call my shot, make my predictions as to how Obama will squander another unsquanderable opportunity. One of these, I’m sure, is going to happen.
Prediction 1
After giving another inspiring, hope-filled plea for unity, Obama will fail to realize that his mic is still on and tear into a production assistant for knocking over his “Change We Can Believe In” sign with the following line:
“Hey white bread, do that again and I’ll send you back to the trailer park you came from!”
Prediction 2
Obama’s former pusher will come forward and swear that he heard the candidate say that he was for “illiteracy, crime and unemployment.” Debates will rage during the 24-hour news cycle as to how a candidate for president could be for illiteracy, crime and unemployment.
Prediction 3
The Clinton campaign will uncover the fact that one of Obama’s main donors has a Muslim last name. This, combined with the fact that he did not wear a flag pin during his most recent speech, will prove that Barack Hussein Obama is in fact a terrorist.
Sound outlandish? Well, we’ll see who’s the crazy one when come January 20, 2009 the president’s wearing a skirt.
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(6)
May 8th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
John McCain wears pants.
May 8th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
But I wouldn’t be surprised if he wore a skirt…
May 8th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Mr. McCain, care to comment?
“While the past few years have seen increased efforts on the part of the State and Justice Departments and the FBI to combat the illegal pants trade, we must do more. As President, I’ll increase cooperation and communication between all agencies of the federal government by establishing an Inter-Agency Task Force on Pants Trafficking, whose purpose will be to focus exclusively on the prosecution of pants traffickers and the rescue of their trousers.”
Very good, thank you sir.
May 8th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
I don’t know anything about McCains paints, but my money is on prediction #2. I’ve always suspected that Obama wants us all in bread lines. I just know it.