scream dean, scream!
by Carl Fitch
Published: May 1, 2008
The Democrats will lose the general election. Clinton might be able to thug her way to the nomination but the wounds she’s sustained and others she’s inflicted will leave her incapable of rallying anything other than electoral contempt come November. Barack “Hope” Obama won’t fair any better. I used to think that he would crush McCain in a general election. Now I realize that he’s the political equivalent of a one-hit wonder - and he’s already been awarded a Grammy.
It’s a classic case of the Democrats doing what they do best: losing and propping up losers. (In case any readers are tempted to bring up the 2006 mid-term elections as proof that Dems can win, check out the margin of victory, Congress’ approval rating since and keep digging.)
But there is one way out of this mess. Unfortunately the party’s only hope is Howard Dean - and he doesn’t have a clue. If he did he would realize that he needs to put an end to the cat fight that is the Democratic primary - yesterday. And how does he do it? By picking a side.
It shouldn’t be too hard either, considering the fact that behind door number 2 is the same exact candidate that stands behind door number 1. Flip a coin, throw a dart, play rock-paper-scizzors but do it. If the DNC were to come out against one of the contenders and muscle other players in the party to do the same, the other candidate wouldn’t survive the blow. That would leave the last Democrat standing free to do what he/she does best: champion policies that will make us all equally poor.
I know he has it in him. Dean is a political gun slinger. Check out these quotes from the Banshee himself:
“Republicans are brain dead” and “I hate republicans and everything they stand for.”
However, instead of taking a cue from his past and firmly leading his party to the White House, he’s busy telling everyone what a great idea his “50 State Plan” is; you know, the one where Democrats compete in every state in the Union. Again I quote:
“We’ve basically gotten people to believe that they can be Democrats in Utah again,” Howard Dean says. “That matters enormously.”
Actually Howie, it doesn’t. The Democrats only chance at winning Utah’s electoral votes is if they can get Brigham Young on the ticket. And since it’s electoral votes that elect presidents and not warm, fuzzy feelings, your strategy stinks.
Make your move fast before the Republicans’ watered-down version of a regular conservative steals your golden opportunity.
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(6)
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:02 am
Great article Carl. Honestly though, I can care less if Dean makes a move. I’d rather have a “semi-conservative” in office than any one of the candidates behind doors 1,2 or 3.
May 7th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Don’t you love it when liberals kill THEMSELVES? The backstabbing, bickering, and downright catfighting in the Democratic camp over the course of this campaign would have been downright hilarious to watch, if it weren’t so pathetic. Unfortunately, since that leaves us with, as you say, a watered-down excuse for an actual conservative, I’m not feeling much joy right now.