the religious method
by Ian Schuldt
Published: April 16, 2008
This Friday everyone’s favorite dry-voiced, dry-eyed, game-show host is finally taking on the corrupt big science industry. In a new documentary Ben Stein seeks to uncover the scientific conspiracy behind the theory of evolution, and expose it for what it really is: The cause of the holocaust.
Now I know that might sound kind of odd to some people, but in actuality most of the major religious persecutions throughout history were actually the fault of Darwinism. Now just wait - hear me out. Hitler believed in a master race, and what he was really trying to do was speed up the process of evolution to get us there faster. If it wasn’t for his scientific zealotry, he would have understood that God made man the way he was, and there was no way to improve upon his work. Poof, end of holocaust!
Just think of all the wars in our history that have been fought in the name of science. WWII, The Crusades, Alien vs Predator, the list goes on and on. Whenever people try and use rational thought to settle their disagreements they leave a path of destruction in their wake that never ends. Blindly listening to what these so-called scientific “experts” say just because they’ve been studying in their field for most of their lives is what gets us into trouble. The only person we should blindly follow is God. And make sure it’s the Christian one, not any of the other endless, made-up gods throughout history.
For years now the scientific community has jammed this theory of evolution down our throats as if it’s the only plausible explanation for our creation. They reject any attempt by anyone to use magic as a possible scientific explanation for our existence. And why do they do it? Because the science industry wants to be able to tell the science teachers what to teach, then the science industry can sit up in their science buildings, and… make tons of money.
What people need to realize is that the theory of evolution is only one theory about the origin of man, but there are other possible explanations, and our children deserve to be taught them all. Instead, they’re taught that their great grandfather was a monkey, the earth is more than four thousand years old and the dinosaurs existed. Ask any self-respecting southerner and they can tell you two universal truths: dinosaur fossils were buried by the Jews in 1937, and the ghosts of your dead relatives live in your teeth.
I commend Ben Stein for finally standing up to these elitist scientists. They may have their fancy master’s degrees and their big brains, but we’ve got a majority. Last time I checked, in a democracy the majority wins. It only makes sense that what is taught in a science class should be what the majority of everyday folks believe.
Imagine if we applied the current line of thinking to other fields. What if we let historians decide what was taught in history, mathematicians decide what was taught in math class, or people who can read teaching people how to read. We would have pandemonium! What we need in this country is a good “Method” of determining what makes “Scientific” sense. It’s amazing we don’t have one already.
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April 17th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Beautiful.
April 17th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I am a Christian, and I even think this whole anti-evolution movement is retarded. If these people claim to believe in an all-powerful God but He cannot, according to them, account for scientific discovery then apparently He isn’t all that powerful. It is not a necessary paradox to believe in creationism and evolution, so if you cannot imagine both to be true then your god is too small.
As soon as you force God into a man-made box He ceases to be God and becomes a mere human construct.