and then there were none

by Ted Hamilton

Published: March 28, 2008

Is the ‘08 election over yet?

I quit paying attention to the mud-slinging tantrums the Democrats are having and can’t fault McCain, who seems content napping in his rocking chair while visions of a hundred-year war dance in his head.

While the only serious Libertarian contender (I will not mention his name for fear of being called robotic, cultist or a nut) was crushed under the hand of a media blackout, our only choice left is the Libertarian Party nominee. However, whether it is Christine Smith (not the Playboy Bunny), Bob Jackson (the bald one) or Wayne Root (the Handicapper), none of the candidates stand a chance against the good ole boys - or girl.

In light of the impossible odds my party faces in ‘08, I have only one choice. I’ll explain…

Option 1: Hillary Clinton

Easy to talk about the scandals, secrets and outright lies but I want to stick to her anti-liberty issues. Down the line she is a leftist. From mandated socialized health care (you can get fined for not buying health insurance) to her voting to loosen restrictions on cell phone taps, she consistently lines up with the rhetoric of having the government coddle everybody like an infant that cannot care for itself.

While campaigning to be the senator of New York in 2000, Hitllary proposed a fine of $3,000 against underage smokers if underage smoking was not lowered by 50% by 2004. I am in my 20’s and three-grand is still a lot of green; I cannot imagine paying that much of a fine when I was under 18. The majority of underage smokers could not pay the fine and it would fall on their parents to pay it, hurting the middle class.

Like every good Democrat, Clinton opposes corporate welfare (except where her donors are concerned), but is for social welfare wherever her constituents are concerned; a true friend of Big Brother.

Option 2: Barack Obama

His scandals (at least the ones that have emerged) are few, with having a racist “spiritual advisor” (whatever that is) who blames whites for all that is wrong in the world. There are some issues that he has been deceitful about his record, but next to Clinton (Whitewater anybody?) he is relatively spotless. However, on Libertarian issues he is anything but squeaky clean.

First, there is his stance on health care. He claims that “health care is a right,” which begs the question, “Where in the Constitution are we given the right to good health?” What we are given is the right to act healthy or unhealthy. For instance, I do not see a problem with Obama’s drug use (an example of one unhealthy right) and oppose his plan to continue the war on drugs.

Here’s why: Barack Obama.

What good would it have done society to lock up the young Barack “White Lines” Obama? And now he supports the local banning of cigarettes! In other words, having lived the high life he now wants to take away my right to be unhealthy. Soon he will be yanking the whiskey and Big Mac right out of my hands. What good will that do?

Speaking of taking things away from me, Obama also loves gun control: registration, wait lists and one-gun-a-month laws. But all the armed citizens in America couldn’t persuade him to budge on his position regarding the nation’s bankrupt system of Social Security. Calling Obama a statist like Clinton wouldn’t do him justice.

Finally, Option 3: John McCain (quiet, he’s sleeping)

Being the lone Republican on the list, you might think I support McCain; that is not the case. The “One Hundred Year” Iraq war is a senseless endeavor that has cost the lives of more than 4,000 American soldiers and billions of dollars towards rebuilding a country that is not our own. He also supports the other war (on drugs), which has done little more than spawn crime and incarcerate people of low income.

But what worries me most about Grandpa McCain is a comment he made on the McCain-Feingold Bipartisian Campaign Reform Act: “I would rather have a clean government than one where ‘First Amendment Rights’ are being respected, that has become corrupt.” Enough said.

After reviewing the facts, the Libertarian pros and … no, make that con’s of the three candidates for president, I have come to the following conclusion: in November, I will be writing my own name on the ballot.

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