iraq war turns 5
by Emma Onom
Published: March 21, 2008
As the fifth anniversary of the war in Iraq comes and goes, numerous vigils are being held around the country to memorialize fallen soldiers. Various liberals, whether rich and famous or unknown but equally stupid, are also decrying the trillions of dollars that have been “wasted” on this war. As my own recognition of this day, I’d like to list a few things the United States is wasting money on.
Congress - I’d challenge anyone to tell me what this group has done in the last millennium. I know, I know. The Democrats were outnumbered for a long time, and then the Republicans have refused to cooperate once the Democrats took the lead. Those darn Republicans are always getting in the way, protesting everything they can find. Especially those Republicans who have the nerve to protest abortions when they could be protesting Africans who don’t eat enough.
And speaking of Africans…
Foreign Aid - How many trillions have we spent on Africa, Asia and even Antarctica, without seeing any result? Not enough, I guess.
Anti-gun legislation - I’m clearly taking some liberties with this very pro-Republican view, but according to a recent article on CNN (that’s right liberals, it’s not from Fox News) “D.C. reported 143 gun-related murders last year. In 1976, when the handgun ban was enacted, the district’s medical examiner said 135 homicides were firearm-related.” So it looks like banning handguns doesn’t reduce gun-related violence at all… weird.
And finally, what I think may be the biggest waste of money…
The Democratic National Convention - Time to step up, hippies. If you’re so concerned about putting money to a good cause, why not forego the convention, send out a newsletter announcing the nominee and send the money you saved over to Africa.
As long as I’m on the subject of Africa, I’d like to point out a great irony. Why is it that intervening in other countries’ affairs is alright when it’s only taxpayer money being spent, and no one actually has to put their life on the line?
The current popular cause is anything in Africa, but what do all of you Darfur protesters want to be done about it?
I guess we could send in our military to take care of their oppressive leader… nope, you don’t like that. Maybe we could just impose sanctions… no, that hurts the people, like in Cuba. Well I guess we could hold candle protests and implore our leaders to make the hard decisions so we can hate them later for it… done.
It’s always easy to hate the guy you don’t agree with, like if he’s a Republican. But maybe dig into the Wayback Machine and check out who ordered a strike against Saddam in the late 90s. I think you’ll find it wasn’t a Bush. And if you read this article (again, CNN), I think you’ll see some familiar rhetoric.
“Clinton: Iraq has abused its last chance”
But I’m sure Bill didn’t really mean it. We love that guy for his cheeky lies and boyish whims. George, on the other hand, deserves our contempt. He can’t say nucular right.
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