going green = going dumb
by Liz Newton
Published: March 14, 2008
I have been amazed at the attention that has been devoted to “going green.” Back in the day, the message was delivered via a commercial with a sad Indian looking at litter. Now you cannot escape the going green frenzy. I am all for being nice to the planet, and throwing away trash. Heck, I even turn off the faucet while brushing my teeth… but give me a break.
Reasons why excessive “earth loving” is dumb:
- In most cases, it costs more money to recycle stuff than it does to destroy debris.
- Aside from the literal cost of recycling as opposed to destroying, the special trucks, containers - and people who drive the special trucks to collect the containers - all cost money.
- Local and state governments dump money into recycling programs, which could otherwise go toward funding public schools, police and public transportation.
- Those fancy new light bulbs leak mercury when you throw them away.
- Mercury is far more harmful to the earth and earthlings than the waste created by your standard light bulb.
- I am not moved by big-wigs who tell me that SUV’s are the devil… I will start listening when their private jets start running on potato chips.
- Yes, trash may create landfills, but landfills are now turned into parks… it’s the American way.
Reasons why I’m too busy to be green:
- Nalgene bottles hold water and are cool, but plastic bottles hold water and are disposable.
- Reusable tote bags for my groceries are hip and sturdy, but plastic bags are convenient and free.
- Buying hybrid cars and energy efficient washers and dryers makes Al Gore happy, but I don’t care about Al Gore.
I recognize that the Religious Green are aghast at my blasphemy, but I can explain. It’s not that I’m an infidel, it’s that I’m logical.
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