immigration exam
by Cynthia Flores
Published: January 18, 2008
Attention readers! I have prepared a three-part exam to help you determine your opinion on the reported 12 million illegal immigrants living in the U.S.
Part I. Multiple Choice
When you pull up to the drive-thru at Del Taco, do you:
A. think, “If not for all these illegals, that could be me taking my order!”
B. order a bean burrito- no onions.
C. hear the accent on the other end of the microphone and feel that your culture is under attack.
Part II. True/False
Building a fence across our southern border is a critical part of the War on Terror.
Part III. Math
The tax revenue left unclaimed by illegal immigrants + taxes paid by illegal immigrants - the tax dollars spent on services for illegal immigrants = what?
Answer Key
Part I.
If you circled A, then you are correct to oppose illegal immigration because it is costing you your job. However, odds are that you did not major in “Manual Labor” in college. Odds are that if not for the constant influx of illegal immigrants, few naturalized citizens would show up to work America’s most undesirable jobs.
The fact is that America needs its illegal residents. They form a vital part of our economy and to lose them would cripple many, many industries.
If you circled B, well, enjoy your meal.
If you circled C, then let me share a little bit of history before I break the good news. America saw an alarming increase of Irish immigrants in the 19th century and over a century later the only thing we have to show for it is a holiday so unimportant that even bankers keep their doors open: St. Patricks Day. Yet, when the famines hit Ireland and the Irish flooded the eastern shore, Americans were disgusted with their crime ridden neighborhoods and unimpressive demeanor.
Let’s not forget that in the same century, on the west coast, the Chinese came over en mass to help build the railroads and had the nerve to stay when the job was done. In the same century, Germans and Scandinavians flooded Wisconsin and Minnesota and refused to learn English! But it doesn’t stop there. The following century saw an influx of Italians who came over and filled up the slums that any self-respecting German or Irishman would not dare enter.
You see, it was the 20th century and by then the Irish-Americans and German-Americans had now become Americans and didn’t want to let the Italians join their club.
So, now it’s the year 2007, and you feel under attack because you can’t have your order repeated to you by someone whose first language is English. Unfortunately, I do not sympathize with you. I am no more afraid of losing my culture to Latinos as I am of losing it to Norwegians or Italians. America does not come under attack from foreign cultures, it absorbs foreign cultures. Stop whining. This is America not Finland.
Part II.
The correct answer is “False.” The main purpose of the wall at our southern border is to keep Mexicans from crossing the border. Stop pretending that we are somehow going to frustrate world-wide terrorist networks from infiltrating our land by building a wall through El Paso. As if Al-Qeada has never heard of the Canadian border and the Pacific and Atlantic Coasts. Do you think the hijackers that attacked New York began their scheme by crossing the Arizona desert with the aid of a “Coyote?”
Build a wall if you must, but include its cost in the budget for the Department of I Hate Mexicans, not the War on Terror.
Part III.
Admit it. You assumed there was no offsetting number to the costs associated with illegal immigration. Fact: There are millions of undocumented workers whose taxes are withheld from their paychecks and qualify for, but never claim a return. Some estimate that the tax savings in unclaimed returns more than offsets the tax burden imposed on the government by illegal immigrants. I’m not going to say how big the offset is because both sides come up with different numbers. For now, I will content myself with acknowledging that the number exists.
But we can’t just stop there; though the illegal may have avoided the INS he or she has yet to figure out how to dupe the IRS. The government charges illegals sales tax every time they buy a tortilla, property tax when they purchase a home and a hefty fee to register their vehicle at the DMV - just like the rest of us documented citizens.
Revile the illegal immigrant if you must; but at least call it like it is, understand your history and do the math.
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