baptist minister president? huck, no!
by Cameron Contois
Published: January 10, 2008
Ladies and gentleman, introducing our next presidential hopeful, hailing from Little Rock, Arkansas and weighing in at 175 pounds:
Governor Mike Huckabee!
*And the conservative Christians go wild*
Let’s face it, this ol’ Southern boy is a likeable guy. He’s humble and cracks jokes that make me giggle. Chuck Norris does commercials with him. That’s awesome. He spoke out against the racist churches while growing up in the segregated south, raised taxes when Arkansas schools needed more money and supports some really good ideas to get quality teachers in the public schools. So what could be so wrong about a devout former Baptist minister? One who proudly states: “Faith doesn’t just influence me, it defines me.”
The truth is, he’s dangerous.
“Aw shucks, how can one not heart Huckabee?” his faithful supporters ask. For starters, according to Newsweek, he has paid $16,000 in fines for 16 different ethic complaints involving campaign finances. This raises an interesting question: How many ethic violations are too many for a holy man?
The most disturbing of these questionable finances results from his involvement in a nonprofit group called Action America. Newsweek reports that when Huckabee was lieutenant governor of Arkansas, he was broke, having blown all his money on a failed Senate run. Action America raised $119,916 for him; $71,500 was paid directly to Huckabee for travel expenses and speeches. A tobacco industry big wig named R. J. Reynolds contributed $40,000. It is rumored that in return for Reynolds’ generosity, Huckabee was to oppose First Lady Hillary Clinton’s health care plan because it included a cigarette tax. Huckabee, of course, claims he has no idea where the money came from. I’m a flat broke recent college grad, and if someone gave me $40,000, I would certainly remember it.
It gets worse. On the governor’s own website, he staunchly denounces a woman’s right to chose. Sure, Huck assures us that he has no desire “to throw women in jail” (what a nice guy), but he does equate all women who have had abortions to having thrown their “babies in the garbage.” It’s true. Go to his website and read it, right under “Sanctity of Life.” Whether pro-life or pro-choice, I would hope my minister, let alone my president, would have more compassion toward women, not to mention rape and incest victims, who felt abortion was their only option. At least enough compassion to not equate their decision to bagging their babies in a hefty bag and throwing them in a dumpster.
“Suzy, don’t forget to take that fetus out with the trash!”
Mr. Huckabee states he will use every possible presidential power to overturn Roe vs. Wade. Make no mistake, this man will play Righteous Huckabee of Nazareth, as he strips women of their rights.
Don’t worry, he hasn’t forgotten your oppression, gay America. As governor of Arkansas, he led a successful effort to amend the state constitution to define marriage between a man and woman. But that wasn’t good enough for Saint Huck. He pushed for Arkansas to adopt “covenant marriage,” where divorce is only allowed in cases of abuse, infidelity or conviction of a felony. Basically, this writes the church’s definition of marriage into law. It’s as if he was trying to find a way to make marriage more heterosexual. In the same section of his website, however, he denounces civil unions, stating with all his godly authority that “Marriage does matter!” But gays can’t get married. They’re screwed. And don’t plan on kids; as governor, Huckabee pushed for laws to be passed banning gay couples from adopting.
The mighty minister also supports teaching Creationism, a philosophy with absolutely no scientific backing, alongside evolution in our public schools. American students already suck at math and science, lagging behind just about everyone in the world, and yet this man supports dedicating classroom time, not to mention tax-payer money, to preach religion. That’s not only unfair to the children, it’s unconstitutional.
Huckabee is unwilling to separate his religious beliefs from his political views and a minister has no business using the presidency for religious purposes. That’s why bible bangers like him so much. His ethics may waiver when it comes to getting cash, but not when it’s enforcing fundamental views at the cost of women, homosexuals and even the education of children. This should scare you, America. Don’t be fooled by his good nature and down to earth demure.
When it comes to this guy, America must say: “Huck, no!”
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